it was in the march of winter when i turned seventeen that i bought those pills that i thought i would need. and i wrote a letter to my family said it's not your fault, and you've been good to me, just lately i've been feeling like i don't belong, like the ground is not mine to walk upon. and i've heard that music echo through the house where my grandmother drank by herself. and i sat watching a flower as it was withering. i was embarrassed by it's honesty. so i preferred to be remembered as a smiling face not this fuckin wreck that's taken its place. so please forgive me what i've done. no you can't stay mad at the setting sun cause we all got tired, i mean eventually there's nothing left to do but sleep.
but spring came bearing sunlight, those persuasive rays. so i gave myself a few more days. my salvation it came, quite suddenly when Justin spoke very plainly, he said 'of course it's your decision, but just so you know, if you decide to leave, soon I will follow.'
i wrote this for a baby, who has yet to be born. my brother's first child. i hope the womb is not too warm, cause it's cold out there and it'll be quite a shock to breath this air, to discover loss. so i'd like to make some changes before you arrive so when your new eyes meet mine they won't see no lies. just love. just love.
i will be pure. no, no i know i will be pure. like snow, like gold.